21st June - Southland

It may have been a lacklustre performance for the Lions, but the number one objective to send the side to Christchurch with a win was been achieved.  Ronan O'Gara put in yet another performance that makes us wonder whether Sir Clive would have been better picking Ronan Keating instead.

Found a little lost girl from Leicester in the bar ticketless and desperate to go to the test matches and when we explained we had spares she got VERY excited and seemed very appreciative of our offer of tickets at face value.  How appreciative she really is is yet to be seen (although she did contribute the last text message to the diary!) 
Highlight of the evening was some drunken Southlanders in the bar shouting go the Stags thinking the final whistle was actually the half time whistle.  They were convinced they were going to beat The Lions in the second half and were even prepared to put money on it...  Yeh, they are like that in Invercargill.
Team have reported; bodys in fine condition, livers pickled and onwards to South New Zealand.


Go Southland - Not! Stags foul again Tosser
Game! Inbred Southlander Check TV screens on bar
Kiwi boring a Brit Wot no Scots He's not Scottish
Found 2 Sweaties The Boys & Bouncer Don't Ask
Texting Home Mum, I got a ticket! Welsh boring Scottish
Bar! Token Kiwi Liond 5 - NZ 1
Bar! She smiles politely Nice legs shame about face
Girl Time Photos Victory Cheer
Girl Time Girl Time Look a Camera

Text Diary

Have taken names out of the text messages to protect the guilty (these are actual text messages sent to a single phone during the day).

  • 08:32 Lager lager larger shouting, lager lager lager
  • 08:36 You can stick your Southland  up your arse...
  • 09:00 Client in Wellington says "get a photo of naked women with you beside it. $50 on the bar if you can do it by the Auckland game. Happy hunting."
  • 09:30 Just had meeting with owner of www.vixen.co.nz looks like $50 will be coming our way.
  • 13:18 Bad news guys ..?????... has invited 2 sweaties to the pub..
  • 17:48 On me way 2 c ve magnificent red machine crush another load of interbreds
  • 17:51 Wonder how much whining + moaning from ve kiwis well ave 2 endure after vis
  • 17:54 Generous giving vem a 12 point head start by playin ogara...And another 10 wiv ollie smiff...As 4 murphy...Fuck we may as well go hm
  • 17:57 Have we any token sweaties in ve team...
  • 18:01 2 on the bench to level the game should the lions be that far in front
  • 18:16 Ill ave a babycham
  • 18:34 Southland about to show the Lions a bit of rough and tumble and might get a few points on the way.....
  • 19:43 Yep ogara is shit
  • 19:50 Can This B My 1b Of Fame? Go Southland Long Live King Shadbolt!
  • 20:10 Hey..My sister can kick...Can she play instead of ogara
  • 20:15 New Course In Zoology - A Stag Sticking It 2 A Lion
  • 20:16 Get smiff ve paddys + ve jockr off
  • 20:22 Another welsh try
  • 20:33 Oh shit...Vey took smith off...Oh vey brought shanklin on ...So we mite ave  a chance...Trrryyy WALES
  • 20:45 Shit ogara kicked 1...He mustve bin goin 4 touch
  • 21:26 Thatd b 5 1 ven ...Comon ven losers put up a fight
  • 00:03 ..?????.. your body is the ultimate i have ever seen. love u till the end of the world x .

Quote: Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow.