11th June - NZ Maori

Hamilton was a rocking place and strangely enough there was more of a party atomosphere on the Friday night than the Saturday night.  This was the same in Rotorua, so best not save yourself for the next day...  Unlike Rotorua, many Hamilton pubs offered free condoms thus preventing further casualties...  

Have found that Hamilton girls are prepared to flash their tits in return for a flag.  Plan for the Christchurch Test Match is to get these lovelys on camera...  
Thanks to the kind local who gave us a lift back to the pubs after the game, was a long walk from the stadium.  Don't know if Hamilton people are 100% truthful, bumped into a local who claims he built Waikato Stadium all by himself, but when questioned he confessed to having help from 3 of his mates.  He also claimed to have made the concrete cows in Milton Keynes???
As we were wearing Lions Shirts, many locals where coming up to us and apologising for beating us.  We had to tell them that we weren't actually playing, it was someone other guys wearing the same colour tops.


One picture is not from the weekend, can you spot which one?  The guy asleep is a Kiwi!  Click on image for bigger picture - be warned large files, so broadband recomended.  Geek terminology, but there's an Easter Egg somewhere on the page!


Poly Wagon The Boys Scored a Kiwi
Friendly Locals Pub! Pub!
Free Condoms Pub! Pub!
Hot Locals! Curry House Leftovers!
Pub! Kiwi Asleep! Success!!
Flag Boys! Cardiff Arms Local!
Novotel Token Scot! Jonny!
Hooker! Eden Park Team [deleted]
Match Anthem Drink!
Drink! Sleep! Drink!
Drink! Spin the bottle! Journey Home

Text Diary

Have taken names out of the text messages to protect the guilty (these are actual text messages sent to a single phone during the weekend).

  • 10 Jun 10:21 Dont wait for me.  four games is enough for this kiwi.  you have to ask the poly wagon driver to stop in time for the ABs game.....
  • 10 Jun 15:14 The money has to be on the Maoris!
  • 10 Jun 15:21 Maoris are going to win?  Are all pigs fed, watered and ready to fly?  PS. Show me a good loser and I'll show you a LOSER!
  • Jun 10 15:28 Some dick left ve lites on ve poly wagon on...4 2 days...150? 4 some heavy duty leads...Reckn vis is gonna b an xpensive wkend
  • Jun 10 15:29 ...????... bring a bottle...I aint gonna stop every 100 yards agin (kiwi 4 again)
  • Jun 10 15:29 Where r u? Hamilton full of barmy army now
  • Jun 10 15:30 Leaving Auckland 5:00pm, can you save a 6 seats for us at the most busiest of bars
  • 10 Jun 16:45 Hi future defeatee have u got any kiwi rugby gear 4 lil ole me
  • 10 Jun 17:10 Go ve Lions. ..u british blokes. .specially ve welsh r much better van any kiwi vau has ever lived. .we dont ave a chance
  • 10 Jun 17:55 ..????.. is a knob. 5 mins into trip and realise tickets were still at home. lucky
  • 10 Jun 17:58 Wears ur ticket ..????.....Knob left it at hm hahaha
  • 10 Jun 18:22 20mins down motorway poly wag struggling ..????.. takes off handbrake and alls well
  • 10 Jun 19:16 Guess who is complaining again. weak bladder...
  • 10 Jun 19:38 Who brought the whining girl?
  • 10 Jun 19:39 Give me back my jersey and flag...wait till ur asleep attached 2 ur eyebrows ..????..
  • 10 Jun 19:55 00101000110001...just watch ve geeks jerking off at ve binery numbers
  • 10 Jun 20:11 Watch the ABs wipe the Fijians and weep.  the lions are going to be steam rolled.......
  • 10 Jun 20:12 Wheres ..????..?
  • 10 Jun 20:28 69 - 0.  ..????.. favourite score
  • 10 Jun 21:25 Jocks r unbeleivers in us wouldnt take our directions we had been drinkin 4 2 hours b4 they arrived in pub
  • 10 Jun 21:30 Cmon u kiwis geezers...No u can talk a gd pint...How bout finishin ur beers 2nite
  • 10 Jun 21:30 Free condoms in fox & hounds
  • 10 Jun 21:44 Miss ..????.. buys shooters ...Of beer..In ve bank pub...Fair dos....It saved him some money
  • 10 Jun 21:57 Is ...????... smoking? i thought he didnt?  Porn tits ass
  • 10 Jun 22:40 Kiwis hit shorts; pomes contimue with beer
  • 10 Jun 22:56 Thats dbl srots buddy
  • 11 Jun 10:39 Very hungover. ?DORIS? texting. Needs medical attention.
  • 11 Jun 11:08 ..????.. refused entry 2 bar...Flashes ..????..s businers card...Bouncer apologizes + lets him in
  • 11 Jun 12:03 Pomes tuck into more beer whilst kiwis enjoy a latte
  • 11 Jun 12:45 Sir clive just went past fox @ hounds
  • 11 Jun 14:26 ..????.. has a boyfriend
  • 11 Jun 14:44 Lost ve geeks...Luckily walked past ve internet cafe + found vem droolin ove
  • 11 Jun 15:20 Ve welsh r singin in ve cardiff arms
  • 11 Jun 16:54 Outside novotel:who the fuck is that?
  • 11 Jun 17:07 ..????.. meets a guy at the bar
  • 11 Jun 17:53 Yep...Avin ve vitals... Kebab
  • 11 Jun 19:13 Oooh were scared...Ve maoris s doin a lil jig
  • 11 Jun 19:30 Didnít see the game, but seethe score. So what do yu think .... AB's or Lions?
  • 11 Jun 20:34 And the Maoris score a try despite some great defence by the Lions..
  • 11 Jun 20:42 Wot u think of ve game then :) go ve maoris :)
  • 11 Jun 21:03 Bugger
  • 11 Jun 21:11 The Maori win for the first time since nineteen thirty... KIA KAHA
  • 11 Jun 21:52 ?DORIS? is keen on another digit up her date. Anyone wanna take pictures?
  • 11 Jun 23:54 ..????.. wants 2 wank in ..????..s lounge, or wankfest in room 413...
  • 11 Jun 23:59 Where is bladderpus?
  • 12 Jun 00:00 Please call my assistant.
  • 12 Jun 01:51 All wimps gone hm...Only me still owt...Cmon u LIONS
  • 12 Jun 13:20 ..????.. has wiggles concert tickets details in poly wagon, given up on watching rugby

Quote: There's no 'I' in 'team'. But then there's no 'I' in 'useless smug colleague', either. And there's four in 'platitude-quoting idiot'. Go figure.